I used to be an athlete - I am a pathetic excuse for one now.
In my late teens I ran and did aerobics, horseback rode 3 times a week, swam, did all kinds of fun things. Was hella fit. I lost it somehow in my university years and I want desperately to have that part of my life back.
And so I have started running again.
Sometimes at the gym on a treadmill and sometimes outside in real life. I've been working on my run/walk times with electro music booming in my ears and last wednesday at the hotel gym, I saw marked improvement in my speed and endurance! hooray!!!
Here's my goal - to run this 5km run on July 3 at Toronto pride
http://www.priderun.org/
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
human doing
I'm a human doing.
As opposed to a human being.
I do far more often than I be. And when I am just "being", I am often overcome with guilt for not doing. I blame my mother, she's far worse than me. I measure my successes on the things that get done. I am disappointed when my doing isn't where I thought it should be. As if the being is not enough.
A friend of mine went on a retreat for something like 10 days. It was a meditative retreat where they sat and meditated for 12 plus hours a day. That is the ultimate in being. I am awed and inspired by that level of being, that pure volume of being all at once. About the only time that I am just being is at the end of the yoga class I love but go to very rarely. I would say that my level of "being" is about 15 minutes a month. Perhaps that isn't true. Perhaps sometimes i accidentally "be" when I am around the boy of complex description. He can have that affect, although I am often also petting a cat, a foot or an idea - so those are activities and therefore cheating.
All this doing, but it's never very big, you know. Just little, flimsy, skittery doings everywhere - do a little here, rush there, do a little over there, go over here, do a little... you get the picture. Perhaps I should make my DOINGS bigger and my beings more regular and consistent. It could be like breathing -
DOING being DOING being DOING being DOING being
Big DOING and some quiet being. That is my intention for this day.
As opposed to a human being.
I do far more often than I be. And when I am just "being", I am often overcome with guilt for not doing. I blame my mother, she's far worse than me. I measure my successes on the things that get done. I am disappointed when my doing isn't where I thought it should be. As if the being is not enough.
A friend of mine went on a retreat for something like 10 days. It was a meditative retreat where they sat and meditated for 12 plus hours a day. That is the ultimate in being. I am awed and inspired by that level of being, that pure volume of being all at once. About the only time that I am just being is at the end of the yoga class I love but go to very rarely. I would say that my level of "being" is about 15 minutes a month. Perhaps that isn't true. Perhaps sometimes i accidentally "be" when I am around the boy of complex description. He can have that affect, although I am often also petting a cat, a foot or an idea - so those are activities and therefore cheating.
All this doing, but it's never very big, you know. Just little, flimsy, skittery doings everywhere - do a little here, rush there, do a little over there, go over here, do a little... you get the picture. Perhaps I should make my DOINGS bigger and my beings more regular and consistent. It could be like breathing -
DOING being DOING being DOING being DOING being
Big DOING and some quiet being. That is my intention for this day.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Creative Inspiration Wednesday
Other people's travel journals inspire me to make my own. I have one overflowing, falling apart, stuffed journal that I go back to over and over again, reliving my adventures.
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